Fireworks!

Fireworks July 4th 2011

This long weekend I was reminded that  my babies are the fireworks of my life (is that a song?)

They illuminate the darkest part of me (ok that sounds weird!)

in a beautiful and colorful way...(ok that's cheesy!) 

So true though!

I am feeling a little anxious about my life (go ahead, say it: Again!)

DREAMS *** DREAMS

A lot of times I just keep them to myself

and then... I start to feel itchy!

I go to bed thinking about all the things I didn't do that day 

fallow by making a mental and long list about the things I need to do the next day.....

"I am busy" I tell my little Cami and she gives me a"nooo!! I am busy" back

I change diapers, brush teeth, put PJs, read books, do the asthma ritual (another post)

do it all as quickly as I can, the soonest the better ..

all to end up crying because I cannot even remember looking 

at their big brown eyes for a moment while I did all those things...

(Some days I really really hate the  mom in me)

But 

They ease all, 

I kiss them in their sleep 

and their warm cheeks and sometimes even a "gracias mami"

make it all right....(they still love me!)

and I get another day to make it up to them.

There is no words to describe the love I feel for them,

(Although, there are many words to describe how inadequate I feel at this) 

Little by little, in a very slow and small amounts,

they are making me perfect, they are making me who I am

and I like me!!

but the best part of all is that they like me!

Life is full of chances ...or so I learned