Tuesday, July 5, 2011


Fireworks July 4th 2011

This long weekend I was reminded that  my babies are the fireworks of my life (is that a song?)
They illuminate the darkest part of me (ok that sounds weird!)
in a beautiful and colorful way...(ok that's cheesy!) 

So true though!

I am feeling a little anxious about my life (go ahead, say it: Again!)
A lot of times I just keep them to myself
and then... I start to feel itchy!

I go to bed thinking about all the things I didn't do that day 
fallow by making a mental and long list about the things I need to do the next day.....
"I am busy" I tell my little Cami and she gives me a"nooo!! I am busy" back
I change diapers, brush teeth, put PJs, read books, do the asthma ritual (another post)
do it all as quickly as I can, the soonest the better ..
all to end up crying because I cannot even remember looking 
at their big brown eyes for a moment while I did all those things...
(Some days I really really hate the  mom in me)

They ease all, 
I kiss them in their sleep 
and their warm cheeks and sometimes even a "gracias mami"
make it all right....(they still love me!)
and I get another day to make it up to them.

There is no words to describe the love I feel for them,
(Although, there are many words to describe how inadequate I feel at this) 

Little by little, in a very slow and small amounts,
they are making me perfect, they are making me who I am
and I like me!!

but the best part of all is that they like me!

Life is full of chances ...or so I learned


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